Happy Monday guys, time to kick start a brand new week. I've introduced some Monday chit chat titled 'Monday Mood' which is sure to make our Monday a whole lot better.
Who doesn't want to start the week with some positivity eh? So lets get into it!
Over the weekend my best friend and I were discussing about friendships, differentiating between friends and acquaintances and just cutting certain people loose from our lives. I had been wanting to discuss this topic for quite some time now and some of the articles I came across over the weekend and the experiences I encountered was just a sign for me to share it with you guys on my blog.
Not long after our conversation, I came across a Facebook post that Khloe Kardashian shared (keep reading because I've shared it below and trust me you'll love it, especially all you Kardashian fans!) and I got so inspired by it.
So what is a toxic person?
A person with a negative attitude
A selfish person
Someone who is extremely dependant.
These people oppose the possibility of self-improvement and resent your progress. They will try and sabotage your happiness and growth, and what do you need to do? Well, identify them and understand how to manage them effectively.
Nowadays, we are so quick to cut certain people loose from our lives, an example could be a friend who constantly complains about you not spending enough time together. This friend could be annoying, difficult and quite demanding, which can be quite unpleasant but hate to break it to ya, they are not toxic. More than likely this friend of yours cares about you and has your best interest at heart. A manipulative and controlling ex girlfriend or boyfriend can be toxic. They instill rage, confusion, sadness and stress into you which you don't need whatsoever. They stagnate your growth and don't wish to see you move on and live a life of happiness, without no drama!
So what do you need to do to remove this toxicity from your life?
Sit down and really think about the relationships in your life. I am glad to say that I've never really found myself in toxic relationships. But I've felt like I've been in toxic relationships when really I wasn't. I'm really observant and I choose my friends wisely. I'm grateful and thankful to God for my best friend Debbie, who is the true definition of a real friend. We've had our ups and downs but the ups outweigh the downs and I couldn't ask for a better friend!
I've had certain friends in the past who brought nothing but bad vibes and I often found myself slipping away intentionally without saying a word.
You have to decide when someone requires distance and when they need to be removed from your life completely.
Be honest. It really does depend on the relationship with the other party because you might feel like not saying anything at all. Don't feel like you owe an explanation. Let them in on your feelings. Every relationship requires a different approach. If it's a family member, best friend or colleague, chances are that you may have to tell them the truth in order for them to examine their life and face their own toxicity. A toxic person cannot be changed by YOU. They must have every desire and willingness to make a change. Your honesty shows how much you genuinely love and care for the person and if they have any understanding of that whatsoever, they will respect your decision or make a change to save the relationship.
Distancing yourself is a gradual process. Toxic people do not respect your boundaries so most of the time they'll still be lurking about and might come back when you've simply told them to go away.
The key is to "surround yourself with people who accept you unconditionally, support your plans and encourage your dreams".
Now are you ready for the best part? Here's the message that Khloe Kardashian shared on her Facebook page and I'm sharing it on this post as I feel it's perhaps a word that everyone can cling on to:
You never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresh air.
We are no victims to life. No prisoners. But we do become victims and prisoners to the people we choose to surround ourselves with.
Never be fearful of letting go, for sometimes holding on can damage you deeper.
There's a huge difference between giving up and letting go.
Giving up means you are selling yourself short. Letting go means freeing yourself from something that is no longer beneficial to your personal growth.
It means removing toxic people and toxic mindsets from your life so that you can make room for relationships and ideas that are conducive to your happiness and ever evolving personal expansion.
Giving up is self defeat. Letting go is self love.
Letting go means putting yourself first instead of holding on to that negative space you don't deserve.
Removing toxic people from your life is only allowing room for a positive flow to elevate your mind, body and soul.
Not everyone who started with you will finish with you. Be ok with that.
God helps those who help themselves.
Isn't that just so beautiful and reassuring? What do you think? I'd love to hear your opinions and your experiences, pop a comment down below :)
Have a great Monday x
Until next time,
F A S H I O N E N T H